SLOW

… about life nowadays

I woke up one day to find myself aged 30 years overnight. My body fails me, my head is spinning and I simply cannot gather the strength to pull myself out of bed. After the first wave of angst passes, I collect my thoughts and start analysing the situation. I am severely disoriented, the room is spinning and I am unable to stomach anything. I call the doctor, as every early autumn, the answer is the same: “there’s something in the air!”. Fun…

Being broken down from top physical and mental fitness to a lamenting crybaby, sobbing about my own misery, I had to assess the casualties. My ego and my vanity were hit hard. And here, as usually in any illness, the long and painful process of letting go begins.

Letting go of my ego, of the need to control and simply accept, that this is it. Lying in my bed that kept spinning for the next week, I start asking myself questions like “Why?”. Well… Why not? Because nature is not stupid, because our spiritual and physical body is not an idiot. There is only so much strain you can put on it before it flicks you off. And when we, as humans forget to shift back a gear, nature will find its way to do it for us. Besides COVID, the new bug in the air seems to want us to slow down. Coincidence? Hope not…

So let’s see what happens next? Suddenly my energy requirement and consumption is decimated. My average weekly cost was around 30 euros, and not having anywhere to go, or anything to do, suddenly all my “needs” disappeared. I was forced to realise how little I need day-to-day. And that what I need is not what I thought. It’s the people around me. My loved ones, my neighbours, the ones who would feed me water with a spoon and leave fruit on my doorstep while I am unable to leave the house. Every illness is a wake-up call and I think mother nature has a very gentle way of whispering in our ears. If we would only listen…