… about the pain not being big enough

The other day someone reached out on Facebook, in a public coaching group, looking for some guidance. She was torn between what one does for living (making money) and what one would like to do as a profession, career, vocation, call it however best fits… 

The post quickly became a publicity platform for coaches, understandable, considering the scope of the group. I reached out in a private message, as I feel Facebook is not a suitable platform to openly discuss anything that is meaningful. Reflecting on her words, I suggested specific coaching methods she should try, based on her described desire to get unanchored from her past. A belated reaction came, explaining how she can’t afford expensive coaching sessions. Not having the time or mood to get into deep discussions about the pre(mis)conceptions regarding the efficiency or cost of coaching, I offered her one hour free online coaching. It might help her get deeper insight into her dilemma. The answer was: thank you!

And here was where the discussion ended…

Remembering my times of deep distress, I would vent about my problems to a homeless on the street if he stopped me to ask for change. He would probably end up feeling sorry for me after our encounter. I would take every chance, every input, every encounter as a way to broaden my horizon, and hope to find the smallest hold I could grab onto, that would keep me from falling into the dark abyss below me. 

I was half baffled by her nonchalance and half happy and hopeful, that the problem seems not to be that big. I say, if we don’t utilise all our energy into transforming our pain, the pain is still not big enough. On we go, moping around about all that’s f*cked. 

“New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings”

- Lao Tzu
© 2021 Albert Erika. All rights reserved.

But why do we then feel the need to make it all public? Why are we constantly driven to b*tch about pretty much whatever on these public platforms? Do we just cry wolf and hope to get some attention? Or are we really in distress, but just don’t want to do anything about it? Except maybe feed our cognitive biases from some like-minded firstworldproblem individuals? 

Or we truly need the help, or we just don’t know anymore how to accept it?

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